What Could Be Lurking In The Corner

[whole_bloody_business]

Something's killing the students. Again.

Cara didn't ask to be stationed right on top of the Hellmouth. She certainly didn't ask to put her extremely expensive education to use trying to convince a bunch of drooling American teenagers to pay attention to Latin verb conjugations. In fact, she'd strongly prefer to avoid demons, non-Slayer high school students, and other such unsavory creatures altogether. But, well, she's the one who decided to become a Watcher. She made her bed, she has to lie in it.

Of course, when she signed on, she didn't expect a missing Slayer.

The girl seems to have vanished off the face of the earth, which, of course, means demonic activity is skyrocketing. And, of course, Cara's the only one around with even the tiniest chance of keeping it in check. Which is why she's poking around in the boiler room during her lunch break instead of popping another aspirin and taking a nap on her desk.

Whoever this missing Slayer is, she'd better have a damn good explanation.

Comments

[whole_bloody_business]

"Twenty-three."

[cross_and_bow]

"Okay. Do please beat that."

[whole_bloody_business]

"With pleasure. I look forward to attending your twenty-fourth birthday party. Assuming, of course, the Council doesn't attempt to replace me with someone else."

[cross_and_bow]

"Why might they attempt to do that?"

[whole_bloody_business]

"Some of them don't like me very much," she says. "We sometimes have disagreements about the way things are run. These disagreements have occasionally led to larger, council-dividing arguments. That reminds me, I ought to inform them of your existence at some point." She surveys her floor. It is covered in bluish-grayish goo. "I think I'll need to get a mop first, though."

[cross_and_bow]

"Are any of them likely to be inclined to consult me about how I would prefer to be Watched? That seems like it might be important, but hey, I'm just the only Slayer they have unless they decide to murder me."

[whole_bloody_business]

"They probably won't murder you," she says, then reconsiders. "Well...okay, it depends on how you define 'murder'. Anyway, no, they do not have a history of consulting the actual Slayer when discussing Slayer-related policies."

[cross_and_bow]

"So they might pick somebody I do not like and instruct this person to stalk me. I think 'watch' does turn into 'stalk' when the object of the verb is not consulted."

[whole_bloody_business]

"That is, in fact, what happens to that word in that instance. So yes, they might do that. Unless I argue them out of it. I am reasonably confident in my ability to get them to back off."

[cross_and_bow]

"I like you. You have my permission to Watch me, at least provisionally. Anybody else may run the risk of being treated like a stalker, and my dad is the chief of police. Include this information if it seems helpful."

[whole_bloody_business]

Cara looks a bit surprised at the "I like you." It is not something she hears a lot.

"I will make sure they know this. They'll have no reason to reject me other than personal prejudice, anyway, and once you're set with a Watcher, they probably won't interfere unless you do something attention-getting. For a while, anyway. How old are you now?"

[cross_and_bow]

"Seventeen. Birthday's in September."

[whole_bloody_business]

"In September, someone is going to kidnap you, drug you, suppress your Slayer powers, stick you in an enclosed space with an unusually powerful vampire, and wait to see whether you live or die. Act surprised."

[cross_and_bow]

"How about I just don't let them do that?"

[whole_bloody_business]

"I like that plan. That's a good plan," says Cara. "I'd say not to tell them I told you, but if you successfully avoid them, they'll probably guess."

[cross_and_bow]

"I assume this is some kind of myopic attempt to make sure that there aren't prolonged tenures for Slayers who coast on luck and super-strength, but it's pretty astonishingly myopic."

[whole_bloody_business]

"That's exactly what it is," says Cara. "Although I almost think 'myopic' is a bit too charitable. I prefer 'mind-bogglingly idiotic', myself. This is one of those council-dividing fights I mentioned starting."

[cross_and_bow]

"Right. I will try to avoid the situation entirely, possibly by spending the month of September backpacking with my mother in rural China or something, I bet I could talk her into that, but if somebody actually comes at me with the drugs I'm considering it attempted murder and acting accordingly, just to let you know."

[whole_bloody_business]

"That would be entirely justified," says Cara. "There's a few people on the Council I would object to you murdering, but they are not the type to come at you with drugs. Going backpacking in China will not be detrimental to you, but they'll probably just wait for you to get back."

[cross_and_bow]

"Oh joy. Well then. I don't think my dad can easily get me out of a murder charge, so maybe I should be learning to fight to subdue?"

[whole_bloody_business]

"That's probably a good idea anyway, in case you fight something human enough to be salvageable," says Cara. "I can add that to the curriculum. It'll probably be most helpful to practice on vampires, though. I know basic combat maneuvers from Watcher training but I'm a bit pathetic at them. Speaking of which, we should probably figure out a schedule for your official training."

[cross_and_bow]

"Yeah. Uh, it's gotten a little hard to find vampires in Sunnydale recently, so we might have to schedule in occasional trips to neighboring metropolises if I'm supposed to practice on vampires. I don't think it's quite humane to keep a supply of them in the basement unless there are civilized ones that have escaped my notice."

[whole_bloody_business]

"If there are, they've escaped my notice, too," says Cara. "There are hints of that in a few books, but nothing concrete. Trips to neighboring metropolises are a good idea. In fact, you should probably leave a few alive to spread the word. The better reputation a Slayer has, the more nervous the supernatural community will be, which makes life easier for everyone. Actually, you might want to make that trip to China anyway and stake some vampires there."

[cross_and_bow]

"Can't I spread the word with graffiti or something? Graffiti does not murder people. Sweep a dusted vampire into a little heap and spraypaint SHE IS HERE on the nearest wall?"

[whole_bloody_business]

"That could work, if you do it enough times. It's appropriately ominous," says Cara. "Hm. I wonder if I ought to come along on these excursions, or if we should invest in a small recording device and an earpiece for me to shout advice into in the event that you encounter an unfamiliar demon."